So, August the 1st is National Girlfriend’s Day, particularly in the United States. Who would have known that? I do, but only because I googled special days in August! It has been apparently listed as this special day since 2005.
It is a day when girls celebrate and give thanks for the special bond of friendship.
I wouldn’t normally celebrate random days, but this one struck a chord with me, as recently I could not have done without my ‘girl friends’ and their friendship.
I live in a household of men who are lovely, but indeed a different breed. They don’t always get my female mentality. Maybe, because of my female isolation in an overdose of testosterone, I feel I need my ‘girlfriends’ more.
Recently, when struggling with Labrynthitis, a horribly debilitating virus, I was confined to my bedroom for days and weeks. It is a scary illness and at times, isolating and depressing. My husband is good at some things, but my best ‘girl friend’ just understands how I feel without me uttering a word.
When my family were going to watch my youngest son perform as one of the leads in the musical ‘Merrily We Roll Along’ I obviously was unable to go, I couldn’t stand up without the world spinning. Yes, it was just previews before the Edinburgh Fringe, which we are most likely to go to, but there is nothing better than sitting, watching and being a proud mum. I was gutted to be missing this opportunity, but my best ‘girlfriend’ understood and popped round to keep me company.
She had that female empathy and knowledge of me that knew I would dwell on what I was missing if left alone. She sat, chatted, made tea, helped serve my microwaveable tea and generally ran round after an immobile, unwell, emotional female , making me feel ok about the fact I was not going. I didn’t have the chance to be upset or dwell, together we talked my disappointment away.
A few days later she rang and offered to come round to do some homework. She understood my frustration at not having a tidy house. Sitting looking at moulting cat fur all over the carpet bothered me and yet, I was unable to do anything about it. My men, don’t understand the need for regular hoovering, it’s not a priority in their busy undomesticated world.
She came round, hoovered, mopped and put washes on. She even emptied the cat litter tray that my men with delicate sensory issues couldn’t handle. They had just turned the smelly litter tray away in the utility room so it stuck out and was in a prime position for tripping people up. Better that, than overpowering ‘cat poo’ odour slipping into the main kitchen! They couldn’t possibly do the deed of emptying it themselves.
I then ask the question, is it that she knows me so well that makes her understand me? I’ve been married to my husband for nearly 27 years, he should know me pretty well? Or is it that she empathises with me as a woman, because she would feel the same? She is on the same wavelength, emotional like me, a talker like me, a worrier like me, strives and struggles to be organised like me, loves a tidy house like me, enjoys a Prosecco like me and is a mum like me. The only difference is she has girls and I have boys.
Is this why girls need ‘girl friends’ so much and why they play such importance in our lives?
We need their friendship and company. It gives us an outlet to rant and confide when things go wrong, to share in the joys when things go right and by being there for them we know they will be there for us, it’s reciprocal and what true friendship is all about.
My school LSA ‘ girl friend’ also popped round when I was ill. She came to bring school reports to be signed, but she also came with homemade cakes and a picture signed by all the children from my class. When you are ill for a while, little things can make such a difference. Sitting day after day alone not able to move or leave the house can be isolating. I missed daily chats with colleagues, but a little visit broke the monotony. I was gutted to not be at work for the last weeks of the school year with my class. The little messages saying ‘ I love you’ and ‘ you are the best’ made me feel better at a time I was feeling low. The homemade cakes reminded me I hadn’t been forgotten and gave me a much needed sugar fix at a time when any food I was getting was down to the hands of my busy husband, a non cake cook.
I am lucky to have plenty of close fire friends. I go on all ‘girl’ holidays which gives me an overdose of catch up time, rest, relaxation and usually includes plenty of eating and drinking. I have all girl evenings in, I belong to all girl dancing groups I go on all girl spa days and theatre trips. In my female isolation in an overdose of testosterone, I particular NEED my ‘girlfriends’ and am very grateful for their ongoing friendship, thoughtfulness and for just being there for me when I need them and even when I don’t realise I need them. I thank you.
On this random ‘ girlfriend day’ give a big shout out to all girlfriends and their friendship, you never know when you might need them.
Honestly Fiona xxx